Soul Searching

" He wanted to dispel the Fairy Tale , " Clea Newman Soderlund says about her Father Paul Newman's decision to embark On Writing a memoir.

It was 1986 and Newman had been one of The Most famous Movie Stars in The World for three decades, starring in films including Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid , The Sting and The Hustler .

He was known for his brilliant Blue Eyes , boyish charm and seemingly idyllic 50-year marriage to the equally talented actress Joanne Woodward .

But not everything was what it seemed. " He wanted to dispel The Perfection that things were Just Great , " Soderlund, the youngest of The Actor 's Five Daughters , tells The Bbc . " Nobody's life is like that. "

So that is why, in his 60s, Newman decided to collaborate on a memoir with his friend, the screenwriter Stewart Stern . The two men talked for five years about Newman's childhood, career, family and fame.

" This Was a very pivotal time for him in his life, " explains Soderlund. " He was doing a lot of Soul Searching . "

But by 1991, Newman and Stern were overwhelmed with the amount of material and gave up on The Process .

Newman died in 2008, at the Age Of 83. Stern died in 2015.

No-one knew what had happened to the thousands of pages of interview transcripts. There was even a rumour that they had been burnt in A Bonfire .

Then two years ago, they were discovered in A Family storage unit, and have now been edited into a new book, The Extraordinary Life of an Ordinary Man.

It paints a candid picture of a tortured star dogged by self-doubt, who reflects on his alcoholic father, his possessive mother, The First marriage he abandoned when he met Woodward, his own failures as a father, and his excessive drinking.

Reading the manuscripts was difficult for Newman's daughter, who found out " a lot" about her father that she did not know. " It's very raw, " she says.

So What surprised her most?

" He was so insecure, " she says. " I was born in 1965. By The Time I came around, he was kind of bigger than life, because he was so famous at that time and later. So it was a whole different perspective.

" I struggled to understand how I didn't know how he could see himself so differently from The Way his children and family felt about him, because he seemed to be so confident about everything.

" I knew that he never felt probably as good about his work as everybody else did, but I think I was surprised at how harshly he criticised himself. "

At one point in The Book , Newman says he is " always anxious" about " not Being Good enough".

And he wonders how much of his career is down to him or his appearance.

The Actor explains in the memoir: " It is difficult for a person Like Me , who has always had a terrible sinking feeling in The Pit of his stomach that his success comes simply from being fortunate enough to be born looking a certain way. "

Soderlund says her father wanted to be treated as so much More Than good-looking.

" It was kind of heartbreaking to him that it felt like, no matter how hard he worked, he wasn't going to get anywhere: meaning he wouldn't get past that Pretty Face and those beautiful eyes. "

In the 1970s, Newman formed a highly successful on-screen relationship with Robert Redford . They made Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and The Sting , and for many years searched for The Right script to make another film together.

But The Book reveals the pair were not really friends Off Screen at that time. " You can't depend on Redford, " says Newman. " You're never sure he's going to be there. That's simply discourteous. "

Soderlund thinks any tension was down to different ways of working.

" My Father was very much a stickler for timeliness and Bob, that was never really his strength.

" It was Hard Work for dad. He worked very hard at it because he wanted to be good and he wanted to be successful and Bob was more of a Free Spirit . "

In The Book , Newman also hints at strains in his relationship with Woodward. He famously once said of his marriage: " I have steak At Home . Why should I go out for hamburger? "

Yet there are suggestions in the memoir of betrayals. " We've had our problems, " he tells a friend. " This hasn't all been a bed of roses. "

" Oh, there was tension, " confirms Soderlund. " I'm sure it wasn't a cake-walk being married to him.

" But I think the impressive thing is that they worked really hard to stay together. I give them a lot of credit that they did manage to get through a lot of really Hard Times and come out on The Other end stronger and better.

" My Father wouldn't take his last breath until My Mother was holding him, " she reveals.

As a parent, Newman is also critical of himself, declaring: " I don't have A Gift for fathering.

" I could have been more consistent with my children, I could have been more understanding. I could have been more patient. "

His son Scott died from an accidental drugs and alcohol overdose in 1978.

Soderlund remembers a dad who " worked a lot, so he was gone a lot".

She adds: " When he was home, he was a Big Kid . This Was when I was little. He loved to play With You and throw you into The Pool . He was fun. But he wasn't consistent. "

In the decades after the conversations were recorded, Soderlund says Newman " worked hard on himself" and " felt much better about himself as he got older".

Deciding to publish the memoir, filled with so many intimate revelations and startling insights, was " a difficult decision" she says.

But ultimately she and her sisters decided they were following his wish. " It's something that he wanted. "

As Newman himself says: " I want to leave some kind of record that sets things straight, pokes holes in the mythology that's sprung up around me, destroys some of The Legends , and keeps The Piranhas off.

" Something that documents The Time I was on this planet with some kind of accuracy. "

Source of news: bbc.com